Networking Isn’t a Shortcut. It’s a Mirror

Let’s be honest networking sometimes gets a bad rap. It’s often misunderstood, and when done the wrong way, it can leave a bad taste in everyone’s mouth.

Historically, the concept of networking traces back to times when alliances were built behind palace doors and intelligence was traded between kingdoms. Back then, it might have been called diplomacy or even espionage. But in today’s world, networking isn’t about manipulation or using others. It’s about building real, mutual, and lasting connections.

Unfortunately, some people still approach networking as a transactional activity: reaching out only when they need a favor, a contact, or a shortcut. That’s not networking that’s opportunism. And when someone does that to a person who’s spent years cultivating a strong and authentic network, it often leads to disappointment or even silence in return.

Because here’s the truth:
Your network is part of your image.
It reflects who you are, how you interact with others, and how you’re perceived in your field or community. Just like the saying goes, “Tell me who your friends are, and I’ll tell you who you are.”

Think of it this way: If a CEO of a small tech startup were to message Elon Musk or Bill Gates out of the blue, what are the chances they’d get a reply? Very slim not because they’re unkind, but because their networks are built on years of trust, value exchange, and aligned reputation. Access to influential circles is earned, not claimed.

So yes, networking can open doors but only when built on genuine relationships.

A Network Is Like a Garden: Nurture It

Let’s take another example: Imagine you have a great relationship with your neighbors. They respect you, trust your opinions, and know you’re a solid member of the community. Now suppose someone from your extended circle wants to pitch a product to the building committee. If the pitch goes well, your reputation shines. But if it flops, or worse, comes off as pushy or unprofessional you’re the one whose credibility takes a hit.

This is why being selective matters. Helping others is a beautiful part of networking, but it needs to come with responsibility.

Why People with Big Networks Get More Requests

It’s perfectly normal when your network grows, so does your visibility. The more people you’re connected to, the more others reach out. It’s simply how it works. But what many don’t realize is that networking is like a pyramid. At the base, there are many people who are just starting out or not yet active in the networking space. As you move up, there are fewer individuals with broad, trusted, and high-level networks. So naturally, the few at the top become the go-to contacts, asking for help more often not because they owe anything, but because they are visible. And being visible creates both opportunity… and pressure.

That’s why boundaries matter. Just because you can help, doesn’t mean you always should. It’s not about being selfish it’s about protecting the integrity of your network and the effort you’ve put into it.

Who Should You Support?

It’s simple: start with those who consistently show up. The people who engage with you, share insights, and contribute to your ecosystem. Those who stay connected even when they don’t need anything. With these people, there’s a foundation of trust—and it feels natural to open doors for them.

On the other hand, people who only pop up when they need something tend to miss the point. They haven’t invested in the relationship, and they often don’t understand the weight and value of a network. That kind of approach can do more harm than good—to both of you.

Final Thought

Networking isn’t a shortcut. It’s a long-term commitment built on trust, presence, and shared values. The more authentic you are in your interactions, the more your network becomes a living, breathing extension of your best self.

So don’t just collect contacts. Build connections. And nurture them like you would any meaningful relationship.